Dear Emma 7/26

Dear phone licker-
You’ve turned a 200+ dollar phone into a chew toy. Is it taste?? I wonder what it would taste like, it seems to have your attention. Usually you use my phone for its more logical uses such as making phone calls. Whoever you call it seems to go like this ” ahah la ahh ehh i uv u – then it always freaking sounds like dada. I uv u dada!” I always seem to continue to give into the insane idea that my cell phone became a chew toy…. or else this happens

I have tried to solve this issue with your play flip phone…

but its only somewhat cool. Hopefully ill have my phone slobber free one day
Love wet phone owner
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